Healthy Boundaries = Good Parenting suggests Parenting Coach

Self care is a big topic right now and you may not think of setting boundaries when you think of self care. But consider how much more time down time you would have if you said no to things that you didn’t really want to do. 

There are several different kinds of boundaries like: physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual and financial. One or more of these may come up for you in different relationships and setting them is like drawing a personal property line around yourself.

So, why do you need boundaries?

If you are getting upset over and over and your children don’t know why or if you are overtired after work regularly from taking on too much, then your family is affected by your lack of healthy boundaries too. Boundaries are good for you and good for the people around you. 

Modeling the setting of these healthy boundaries is important for kids to see; It helps build things like: Self esteem, Mental health, Emotional health, and Independence.

How do you get started?

Start by looking at your relationships. Be aware of places in your life where you tend to feel friction. Is there a certain situation that comes up that always irritates you or makes you uncomfortable? Look at the days or times when you felt dragged down. 

Then, communicate. Let people know what you are feeling. Don’t assume people know. Sometimes we continue to do things and let our irritation build up. Either we think that people know or should know that we are upset and that makes us feel even worse. The truth is that people are sometimes unaware, especially your children.

As you look at these situations, it's also important for you to take responsibility for your part. You are the one saying yes. You are the one not letting people know where your boundaries are. Of course there are unhealthy relationships, where people will not respect the lines you draw even when you tell them. That is not your responsibility. 

Be clear and let people know what you will accept, what you are comfortable with then be consistent. Remembering that, you are important and your self care is important. Not only for you as a person but as a parent. Self care helps you build up a reserve of patience so that in challenging moments, you are able to respond in appropriate ways. We all want to be our best selves for our kids and model good life skills for them. Teaching them to honor themselves and how to say no are very good skills to teach.