Not Just October

“ You have invasive ductal carcinoma of the breast ; I am sorry ….”. 

I can still hear the doctor’s voice as she relayed this news to me over the phone on a Friday afternoon 2 1/2 years ago. The pen I was holding to take notes flew out of my hand and across the table. I didn’t hear anything else she said after that.  Chances are someone you know, your neighbor, friend, relative or perhaps you, have heard these very same words. 

Breast cancer affects 1 in 8 American women. 

I am one of the lucky ones. Lucky because it was caught early. Lucky because I am fortunate enough to live in one of the richest countries in the world with access to health care. Lucky that I was able to navigate my treatment journey despite being diagnosed just before the covid lockdown (and having my surgery canceled). Cancer made me feel lucky. 

Having said that, what is actually true is that cancer sucks. Without having a family history,  it feels weirdly random and cruel. And also quite guilt inducing, because now I have given these risks to my children and potentially my children’s children .

Then, came a very strange part of cancer when I learned that a big part of the treatment plan was going to be in my hands. I was going to have to decide: Do I get a lumpectomy? Do I get a single mastectomy? Do I get a double mastectomy? Why am I being asked to decide ? Do I sound ungrateful? 

In order to make the best decision for me, I started speaking with friends and friends of friends and complete strangers. People I had not met before were willing to meet me in coffee shops- to share their experiences and to also give me a hug and let me know that whatever I decided was going to be ok. 

In the end, what I believe is most important is that we support one another through this- whether that means writing a check to an organization doing good works, sending a meal to someone going through treatment, or sitting down for a cup of coffee and shooting the breeze.

Hopefully we can continue to focus on breast cancer, education and awareness, not just during the month of October but everyday of the year.