The Science of Sleep Training
As the parent of a newborn, the phrase "sleeping like a baby" might seem laughable as you're downing a 4th cup of coffee and desperate for a full night's sleep. But don't give up on your dreams of dreaming just yet; looking at the science behind sleep can help us find the answer to your sleep dilemmas.
On average, parents (mothers in particular) lose 2-3 hours of sleep every night. The time they do get to close their eyes is in broken moments throughout the night- accounting for a total loss of roughly 133 nights of sleep. It’s no wonder, new moms are walking around in a foggy haze, with depression and anxiety bubbling just under the surface.
You've likely scoured the internet searching for a magic answer to catch some z's and quickly realized that articles on the same site often contradict each other. Or maybe you've tried everything on their lists, and nothing seems to work for your family.
There's no easy solution that'll get you and your child "sleeping like a baby,"- but taking a deeper look at the science might help us find the answers we need to get you some sleep.
Knowing the science of “sleep”
There are two main biological factors that need to be aligned to create healthy restorative sleep, sleep pressure & circadian rhythms (regardless of age).
Sleep Pressure, which is a biological response that makes you FEEL like you want to sleep.
Circadian Rhythms, which are your body’s internal biological clock that cues or signals to the baby that it is time to sleep.
When these two biological elements are NOT aligned, you’ll get non-restorative or “junk sleep.” That sleep leaves us feeling no more energized than before we closed our eyes.
As a parent, recognizing what your child’s sleep rhythms are will be extremely helpful in making sure you hit the optimal level of “sleep pressure.” What a lot of sleep consultants don’t tell you is that if you can recognize the cues before the child is overtired. You can put them to bed awake, and they will be able to go to sleep with minimal involvement from the parent.
HOW to do this? Let’s take a step-by-step approach.
Spend a week recording your child’s natural wake and sleep times in a sleep log (download our free one here).
This is the crucial first step because it allows a weary parent to find tangible patterns of sleep and the actual amount of sleep that their infant or child is getting. The data that we can glean from this log allows parents to create an action plan that works with their child’s natural biological rhythms, making the sleep training process less stressful for everyone involved.
After a week of recording, patterns naturally emerge.
An hour after they wake for the day, children are already showing signs of sleepiness. That’s because a child’s first nap of the day is actually an extension of their nighttime sleep. If the parent puts the child down within that time frame, they will go down easily and sleep for an additional hour or more.
This pattern of sleep windows carries on throughout the day. Depending on the age, the sleep window ranges from 40-90 minutes all the way to 3 hours within the first two years of life. One thing to note here is that if a child is exhibiting sleepy cues, you’ve likely already missed their optimal sleep window.
So the key to success is putting the infant down towards the portion of the sleep window BEFORE they are overtired and harder to get to sleep without intervention.
Recognizing the necessity of protecting your child’s sleep is as important as feeding, clothing, and loving them.
It’s simply an extension of these basic needs for survival and growth. Sleep is when the critical development of their brain occurs. Optimal sleep times range from 13-16 hours of sleep within the first two years of life (including daytime sleep).
Prioritizing early bedtime is a must.
Of all these steps, this is going to be your least favorite. It’s hard to put your baby down when you’ve been working all day, or you have to decline yet another dinner invitation.
A bedtime between 7-8 pm generally works best for younger children; however, if your child is chronically sleep-deprived, they may need to go to bed even earlier for a short period of time to make up for the sleep deficit until they are caught up. Starting as early as 5:30 pm and slowly moving back by 15-minute increments until you reach that 7-8 pm time frame.
Some other important tips:
Outdoor time in the morning helps to set your child’s natural biological clock. Natural sunlight is needed to produce a chemical your body needs to start the clock, called serotonin. Counterintuitively this hormone also is needed to help with sleep at night. Serotonin is used by the body to help produce melatonin naturally, which is also known as the “sleep hormone.”
Bedtime routines are extremely important. Establishing a bedtime routine as early as 6-8 weeks helps cue the body into a more relaxed state helping aid in the ease of the sleep training process.
Creation of a healthy sleep environment. Whether the child is in your room or in their own room, making the room dark, cool (68-72F) and using white noise will help promote deeper, higher quality sleep.
Most importantly allow yourself as parent permission to take time for yourself. If you are frenzied and fried, your family will feel that energy. Taking time to yourself can be as simple as putting on your AirPods and listening to a song that gets you moving, planning ahead on doing things throughout the day to replenish your energy. Like the flight attendants always say: Please put your mask on before helping others.