Momstinct
Moms have been taught to ignore their instincts.
We are bombarded with talk show, best seller list psychologists that come up with catchy names like “Snowplow Mom” or “Helicopter Mom” or the culturally offensive “Tiger Mom.” It all makes me want to yell: Back OFF!
We’re doing our best. We will screw up... often. But, not out of malice or a deep sense of wanting to control our kids like some people who don’t really know you might say.
I mean, most of it probably comes as we try to respond to all the messages from these ‘experts’ telling us what we’re doing wrong.
So, instead of yelling into the void at them, I’m reaching out to you -- here to tell you to listen to yourself. Moms, we have instincts. Maybe, Momstincts? (maybe not). You have a voice trying to help you make those important Mom decisions. Ignoring that instinct to avoid so-called bad mom labels will push you to even worse decisions.
Like when my daughter was in 6th grade. She was dancing ballet and started complaining that her ankle hurt -- but she could still walk and dance. I told her to ice it and take a pain reliever. They were getting ready for the Big Spring Recital and I didn’t want her to miss out.
I wasn’t a “Dance Mom” trying to force her to dance through an injury, but I didn’t want the teachers to think I was being a “Helicopter Mom” if I pulled her out of class for a few days. Or worse, take her to the doctor.
Then, one day I realized: my daughter was telling me she was in pain. What had I been thinking? My child was in pain and I was saying wrap it up, ice it, take a pill, and go to class. She was 11. I took her to the doctor.
Sofie had a hairline fracture in her ankle. She was put in a boot for 6 weeks. She missed her recital and her softball tournament. But, you know what… she rested and healed and was fine.
I call it my “Bad Mommy Moment”. It wasn’t my only one; (do not get my children started on a list) it was one example of a time I didn’t listen to my instinct. I didn’t listen to the voice in my heart that said my child needs to be heard.
Sometimes, we need help finding our voice.
Sometimes, we need help trusting ourselves enough to listen to our voice.
Being a parent, whether you work outside the home or not, takes a lot of time and energy. We don’t have time to shuffle through everything out there or read all the latest books. Sometimes we need to reach out. If you do, we are here. We don’t judge or label.
